Welcome back to the second half of our two-part article on staying warm when your office has become an annex of the North Pole. Whether it’s winter and the office heaters are insufficient or you’re being frozen by the AC in the summertime, business professionals have always struggled with reaching an optimal working temperature. Last time we talked about how to generate and maintain heat internally with things like broth, blankets, and subtle deskercising. Join us today as we pick up at finding external heat sources to augment your calorie burn.
5) Sit Next to the Printer
Every office has some enormous industrial-sized appliance that hums like an old fridge and is occasionally frequented by furtive coworkers printing out office reports and anime pictures. If one of these gargantuan printers happens to be in your office space, claim dibs on the desk nearest the printer exhaust to take advantage of the waste heat.
6) (If Summer) Close the Vents
If your office is freezing in the summer, the culprit is always an overactive AC and an ancient 1930s formula for the metabolic rate of a “standard” 40 year old 155 lbs male employee. If the vent is pouring out air so cold the office could start snowing at any minute, wrap your hand in something, stand on a chair, and close that sucker. Your coworkers will thank you. They might even throw you a party.
7) (If Winter) Open the Vents Completely
If you’re freezing your ears off in the winter, this means that there’s not enough heat coming out of the vent. First, check to see of some clever sod closed the vent over the summer, then make sure the vent is all the way open, and finally check to see if there’s a clogged filter or blockage in the duct that you can see. Hopefully, that improved the situation and if not, keep reading.
8) Hot Water Bottle
If you haven’t tried the wonders of a hot water bottle in a cold office, do. They’re cheap, easy to manage, and provide an extra mammal worth of body heat. It’s like cuddling a big warm cat in your lap (or under your feet) without the claws and demands for petting. The water bottle can also supplement your own body heat making the sweaters and blankets much more effective. Some even come with their own sweaters.
9) Under-Desk Foot Warmer
Are your feet cold? You’re not the first and, in fact, there’s an entire variety of products made for freezing office workers like yourself that can heat your feet under the desk. There are warming footrests, electrically warmed fleece pockets, warming slippers, and even foot warmer/massager combos.
10) Huddling for Warmth (or Use Space Heaters)
Finally, if all else fails, your boss sneakily re-opened the vent, and blankets are banned from the office, make your needs clear by huddling with your fellow coworkers for warmth. No, we kid. Instead, get together and supply the office with evenly distributed space heaters. While it’s a little dangerous to put them under desks, you can find out of the way positions for three to ten around the office that should pick up the ambient temperature nicely.
It’s hard to do your best work when you can’t feel your fingers and the headphones are the only things keeping your ears from going as well. If your office is freezing right now, bundle up and work together with your fellow shivering coworkers to warm up the office and make your needs clear to management. If management doesn’t respond, at least your feet are warm and your abs are getting buff.
